december 10, 2006

 

My friend Will is a polar bear.

 

Well, not an actual polar bear, but one of those folks who relishes wading into the ice-cold water off Coney Island on weekend mornings in nothing but his trunks and tattoos. After hearing him extol his icy weekend dips, I said to him, out of honest curiosity and bafflement: "What on earth do you enjoy about stripping down in sub-zero temperatures and freezing your ass off in the water?"

 

Will sighed, then said simply: "It makes me feel alive."

 

Now, that I could understand.

 

The cold snap that hit yesterday seems in sync with recent events in this girl's life that serve to shake and wake me. A new awareness and respect for physical and emotional sensation, danger, and the thrill of jumping into new situations with faith and no expectations overtakes me. I've mourned some significant personal loss in recent months, but the general sadness seems to be easing as forgotten or overlooked opportunities manifest themselves in funny little ways, and somehow I am able to look around me, and ahead instead of only behind.

 

Even the fortune cookies from my ghetto Chinese joint are nagging me about how wonderful the world is, how good people are. That there are no wrong decisions, and that you can always start over. And that friends are always there - sometimes you just forget who and/or where they are. Maybe it's because I just re-read "Siddhartha" by Herman Hesse. Maybe it's my new apartment, where I wake up surrounded by morning light, a view of the sky, and trees, instead of a brick wall through a fire escape. Maybe it's because Jupiter is in Sagittarius for almost a whole year. Who knows?

 

I am blessed to have those of you who write me notes of encouragement, keep coming to shows on both the east coast and west, keep asking me how the record's coming, reminding me how far I've come, even though sometimes it feels as though I'm surrounded by nothing but struggle. As always, thank you for your support. There will be a new web site soon, and, mark my words, I SWEAR there will be a new record out this year. And it's gonna be goooooood.

 

I hope that this holiday season brings you a greater awareness of life and the world around you, and a sense of possibility and hope, despite what is decried in the news, or what you're stepping over on the sidewalk.

May you roll into the New Year fueled by grace, optimism, and enlightening awareness.

 

Strip down, and dive in!

 

Blessings,

Celia